I believe in the power that imagination and creativity holds over each of us. I know that this power can be both positive and negative, depending on how we choose to interpret it, and how it chooses to present itself in our lives.
I want to inspire all individuals who want to see such creativity within themselves. Many people don’t know it’s there, but they yearn for it. They feel it as if it’s something they lost long ago, a beloved holiday gift their parents threw away prematurely. It’s still inside them, and I want to help them find it.
I am a voice for introverts who cannot speak up for themselves. We make up at least half of the population and yet “introversion” is still considered a “negative” character trait in Western culture. I will follow this calling in whatever capacity I am comfortable with until I feel I have done all I can to help our quiet world.
In all my years of experiencing, growing, learning, and understanding, I have come to live by these truths:
I enjoy being alone the majority of my time. Though this is difficult by many social standards, it is a lifestyle worth fighting for. I know for sure now that my long-term happiness can be achieved easily by a (physically) solitary life. There are many different ways to connect that don’t involve living with another person.
I value how I spend my time, almost down to the minute. Although I am sure this can be trying to others, it has come to be one of the best ways I can maintain proper self-care. It is wonderful not to watch TV I don’t want to watch “just because” and to spend extra time writing while ignoring other things.
I know and accept now that I cannot take care of living plants. Even cacti die within six months. I shall continue making flowers and green things out of paper.
I understand now the value of “growing up”, and how awesome it has been. A manifesto I wrote once in the past said: “I will never grow up.” Growing up has allowed me to create the best life for myself and live in these truths without question. Growing up has allowed me to stand up for what I want and need while also conceding what is less important for those I care about.
I am here to create my emotions, share my stories, give presence to my passions, and attempt to remind others to stop procrastinating with theirs.
I have decided that I confuse “hating my commute” with either “hating my job” or “hating my living situation.” Driving is an amazing creative resource and breeding ground for ideas, whether I am stuck in traffic or not. The part I hate is the destination. This was an important revelation because I’ve had so many ideas while driving, and I’ve been denying them for too long. I have decided that I WILL pay more attention to stressors such as these and find the real issue faster than 3 years later.
I am allowing myself to feel lost, confused, alone, and wanting.
I am allowing myself to explore the deepest corners of my mental illness, but I must take breadcrumbs in case it gets scary and I have to travel backwards for a deep breath.
I am allowing myself to totally and completely change my sleeping schedule, even if it doesn’t align with anyone else’s schedule (but only so far as it works out with my day job and keeps me healthy).
I am allowing myself to ___ (fill blank with any future hesitance).
From the previous manifesto (2012), still holding true:
I will continually act impulsively in important situations and life-making decisions.
I will not regret.
I will NOT settle.
I will not apologize for my behavior.
I will live my life the way I see fit.
I will create even when no one is interested in the product.
I will provide inspiration and encouragement to anyone who seeks it.
I will stand up for myself and that which I believe.
I will change my beliefs as frequently and entirely as I please.
I have endured.
I will continue to endure.
I will wait for the words to come, because I know that when they do they will light a fire.